I'm Not Much of a Hero
by anglez3000
Summary: Jacqueline Spelding is just an average teenage girl with average teenage friends, trying to live average teenage lives, but according to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files there's nothing average about them or the people interested in them. M for Strong Language and possible themes
1. Chapter 1

A brunet beauty of an Irish and Arabian origin sat next to me. Helena Greyson was her name and I should know that why because she is my best friend of six years since the six grade. Standing a towering six feet (I'm five three) with bright brown eyes, a button nose, and a crooked smile, she had since six grade, we just clicked.  
"I've kept my bargain of spending the day with you, now you have to keep yours." Helena said, handing me her Iphone.  
"You're lucky I love Rent." I said, snatching her phone from her hand.  
"Am I?"  
"You rather have High School Musical?"  
"Fuck, no."  
"Who am I leaving this message for?" I said, scrolling through Helena's contacts list.  
"A friend." Helena said, punching a number in her phone then handing it to me upside down.

Gripping the rhinestone phone case in my hand I began to pace back and forth in the almost empty train-cart. I plugged in my headphone buds with the microphone built in the the long strands of white. Slipping the phone in my front pocket, I let the inner Rent freak take control, channeling my best voice of Mimi, I began to sing "Out Tonight" after the voicemail leave-a-message beep.

_"What's the time?_  
_Well it's gotta be close to midnight_  
_My body's talking to me_  
_It says, "Time for danger"_

_It says, "I wanna commit a crime_  
_Wanna be the 'cause of a fight_  
_I wanna put on a tight skirt_  
_And flirt with a stranger"_

_I've had a knack from way back_  
_At breaking the rules once I learn the games_  
_Get up! Life's too quick, I know someplace sick_  
_Where this chick'll dance in the flames_

_We don't need any money_  
_I always get in for free_  
_You can get in too_  
_If you get in with me_

_Let's go out tonight_  
_I have to go out tonight_  
_You wanna play? Let's run away_  
_We won't be back before it's New Year's Day_  
_Take me out tonight, meow_

_When I get a wink from the doorman_  
_Do you know how lucky you'll be?_  
_That you're on line with the feline_  
_Of Avenue B_

_Let's go out tonight_  
_I have to go out tonight_  
_You wanna prowl, be my night owl?_  
_Well take my hand we're gonna howl_  
_Out tonight_

_In the evening I've got to roam_  
_Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome_  
_Feels too damn much like home_  
_When the Spanish babies cry_

_So let's find a bar_  
_So dark we forget who we are_  
_Where all the scars_  
_From the nevers and maybes die_

_Let's go out tonight_  
_I have to go out tonight_  
_You're sweet, wanna hit the street?_  
_Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?_  
_Just take me out tonight_

_Please take me out tonight_  
_Don't forsake me, out tonight_  
_I'll let you make me out tonight_  
_Tonight, tonight, tonight"_

"My mom really loves you, Jacqueline." Helena said, biting her right pinky nail off.  
"How much?" I raised my eyebrow.  
"She has the credit card payments to prove it." She said, tugging on my black and yellow Snapback. "It's like you're the ditzy little sister I never had."  
"Being blond does not make me ditzy."  
"Getting locked out of your locker everyday is."  
"No, that's being forgetful."  
"I really do miss Clarice High School, especially the status I had with you."  
The root beer soda I was sipping on went straight to my nose. "W-w-wait s-status?" I sputtered leaning into Helena's varsity jacket.  
"Jack just because you are the list in that school doesn't mean I want your carbonated snot on me."  
"What list?"  
"The list list."  
"How the fuck am I suppose to kno- ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Wait, the fuck list, I am not a slut. I'm a whore there's a difference."  
"Not that list, the other one in the last bathroom stall in the basement. You're number three. And why am I not surprised?"  
"There is a fee for me to get on my knees!"  
"Shut up!" Helena said, shoving my shoulder. "You joke to much."  
"Don't make me beg." I said getting on my knees on the subway train ground. "I know you do not want the rest of your sushi. I will be your bitch for the night."  
"You're going home to your house."  
"How's about you be mine?" I said, getting off the floor, slipping my hand into the white plastic bag on Helena's lap. "Is it working?"  
"Not working." She said, swatting my hand away.  
"Curses!" I shouted, sliding dramatically into my seat.

* * *

The train slowed down to a stop; I get off the next one.  
"Is that Greyson?" A gaggle of female teens sporting Clarice High School uniforms whispered.  
"Oh, there's Jack Spelding."  
"The senior?"  
"Yeah."  
"They're both seniors."  
"Jack's number five, GPA wise and looks scale."  
"No way."  
"Yes way, dubbed by the former seniors of last year."  
"I have both of their cell phone numbers."  
"You know both of them, Gia?"  
"Yeah, watch this."

* * *

"Fine you can have it." Helena said, rolling her eyes as she gave me her sushi.  
"Come on this is the first Saturday we spent together ever since you transferred last year." I pouted. "Why you so mean to me?"  
"So-" Helena was cut off by a busty redheaded junior hugging her.  
"Helena where have you been? The whole tennis team misses you."  
"Hey, Gia." Helena said, petting Gia's head which was awkwardly wedged between her breasts. "Oh hey, Jacqueline!" Gia said, letting go of Helena.  
"Hey-" I started.  
"Oh there you are, we've been looking for you Gia." A blonde said.  
"Donna thought that you missed the train." A pink-haired girl said.  
"I was just about to text you." A orange-haired girl said.  
"It started raining, do you want to use my umbrella. Um...err... Tory and I live in the same apartment complex so I could get it from you whenever..."Gia said, swinging her Hello Kitty umbrella in my path as she eyed my attire.  
Looking down at my outfit worn at the mall: Bumblebee Transformer baseball shirt, black high-waisted shorts, black and white sneakers, and black backpack, definitely not prepared for such weather, but oh well I decided to work with it.  
"Thanks, but I'm notorious for loosing things." I said, as Helena handed me her sushi.  
"I already offered her my extra umbrella but she didn't want it." Helena added rolling her eyes.  
"It's always me, right?" I said, rolling my eyes.  
"Yeah, it's always you."  
Just her luck, Rent's "Take me or leave me" was playing through my mind. I'm Maureen, Helena's Joanne. As soon I just randomly started singing, Helena automatically jumped in; this was her favorite song.

_"Every single day_  
_I walk down the street_  
_I hear people say_  
_"Baby's so sweet"_

_Ever since puberty_  
_Everybody stares at me_  
_Boys, girls_  
_I can't help it baby_

_So be kind_  
_And don't lose your mind_  
_Just remember_  
_That I'm your baby_

_Take me for what I am_  
_Who I was meant to be_  
_And if you give a damn_  
_Take me baby or leave me_  
_Take me baby or leave me_

_A tiger in a cage_  
_Can never see the sun_  
_This diva needs her stage_  
_Baby, let's have fun!_

_You are the one I choose_  
_Folks would kill to fill your shoes_  
_You love the limelight too, now baby_

_So be mine_  
_And don't waste my time_  
_Cryin', "Oh Honeybear_  
_Are you still my, my, my baby?_  
_(Don't you dare!)_

_Take me for what I am_  
_Who I was meant to be_  
_And if you give a damn_  
_Take me baby or leave me_

_No way, can I be what I'm not_  
_But hey, don't you want your girl hot?_  
_Don't fight, don't lose your head_  
_'Cause every night, who's in your bed?_

_Who, who's in your bed?_  
_Kiss, pookie_

_It won't work, I look before I leap_  
_I love margins and discipline_  
_I make lists in my sleep_  
_Baby, what's my sin?_

_Never quit, I follow through_  
_I hate mess, but I love you_  
_What to do with my impromptu baby_

_So be wise_  
_'Cause this girl satisfies_  
_You've got a prize who don't compromise_  
_You're one lucky baby_

_Take me for what I am_  
_(A control freak)_  
_Who I was meant to be_  
_(A snob, yet over-attentive)_  
_And if you give a damn_  
_(A lovable, droll geek)_  
_Take me baby or leave me_  
_(And anal retentive!)_

_That's it! The straw that breaks my back_  
_I quit, unless you take it back_  
_Women, what is it about them?_  
_Can't live with them or without them!_

_Take me for what I am_  
_Who I was meant to be_  
_(Who I was meant to be)_  
_And if you give a damn_  
_(And if you give a damn ya better)_  
_Take me baby or leave me_  
_(Oh take me baby, take me or leave me)_  
_Take me baby_  
_Or leave me_

_Guess I'm leaving_  
_I'm gone!"_

*Ding*  
"What perfect timing!" I said, exiting the train.  
"Eleven at your place, Tony."

* * *

While walking through the terminal I wandered into a tourist shop and brought the Starfleet sweatshirt with Spock ears on the hood, I've been eyeing ever since freshmen year. It had "I don't know about you but I'm Vulcan tonight" written on the front. I'm a fangirl.

_*FLASHBACK*_

_"What do you think of my costume for ComicCon?" I asked, opening my bedroom door._  
_"Ewwww, you're going as Spock again?" Helena muttered, adjusting L from DeathNote wig._  
_"What do you mean eww? The character and both actors are hot. I would definitely record a five-some."_  
_"Wait there's Spock, Leonard Nimoy, Zachary Quinto, and you that makes four."_  
_"Spock Prime."_  
_"Oh God, you'd like that wouldn't you? Fucking the elderly."_  
_"Why do you have to say it like that? At least my man survived the series."_  
_"He did until for the needs of many in the second movie."_  
_"And then they brought him back to life."_

_*FLASHBACK*_

I didn't buy an umbrella because the wind always likes to take mine, that bitch. As my middle finger to her I'm buying candy.  
My phone began to vibrate in my pocket; Helena's name popped up on the caller ID. "Ello," I mumbled, thumbing through a stack of discounted DVDs.  
"Home yet?"  
"Nope, getting a movie. What about you?"  
Ten minutes away from the doorman. Whatcha going to buy?"  
"I don't know, parents won't be back till later (Tuesday). I might get a-"  
"Don't say porno."  
"Who do you take me for I was going to say dick lit."  
"Porn."  
"No, by dick lit I meant mostly guys would love it, the opposite of chick lit. Get it? But then again females can have dicks, too."  
"Your statement does not derail the idea that it's porn."  
"And what if I wanted to get a porno?"  
"Well, YOLO."  
"Exactly."  
"I gotta go babe. I hope you enjoyed your seventeenth birthday!"  
"I did, thank you!"  
"No, problem. Bye!"  
"Bye." I said, before closing my phone.  
Looking at my watch, it's 9:45 p.m. I can make it home in five minutes if I run. After purchasing a packet of salted carmel squares, Ginger candy, and a copy of Child's Play, I hurried to the entrance of the terminal only to be greeted by the bitch of all bitches.  
Armed with my Star Trek sweatshirt and two plastic bags, I bolted out of the door and down the vacant street.

* * *

Down two blocks in five minutes, I waved my keys to the doorman. Squeaking my way to the also vacant elevator, I punched the second floor button. A puff of cold air escaped my mouth, "It's on you bitch, I like it wet!" I glared at the chrome ceiling as I pointed at it. I then opened a salted Carmel cube and popped it in my mouth.  
"Gah!" Mrs. Fords, the nice old widow with a different boyfriend every night, shouted as my shoulder brushed past her as I exited the elevator. "You're always shocking someone."  
"My Mrs. Fords, isn't that just shocking?"  
"Try not to electrocute yourself, I won't be here tonight to call the ambulance."  
"I'll have them on standby."  
"Good, cause I have a hot date tonight. I'm using the good dentures glue tonight."  
And there goes my appetite. I thought as I waved goodbye and walked down to apartment 214. Where did my childhood go? I shuddered as I imagined Mrs. Fords going down on a guy as I let myself into the apartment. I just need to take a shower and think about anything but that.

After flicking on a couple of lights, I placed the leftover food in the fridge and the candies and DvD on the kitchen table. I grabbed my towel, wash cloth, and a pair of orange Garfield footie pajamas, and dragged my drenched body into the bathroom.

Fucking suds getting my eyes. I stuck my hand out blindly to reach for my towel on the ledge to wipe my now burning warm vanilla sugar scented eyes.  
*Clunk* Awhoa the fuck is that?  
"Is this the right flat?"  
"It's an apartment and yes it is. Fury wrote apartment 214."  
Shit. My ears started to burn. I am not getting taken. I started to snicker. No time for bad puns. No phone, fuck! Where is it?  
"Why is there a phone in the refrigerator?"  
Tiptoeing out of the shower, I quickly slipped on wet clothes and then my pajamas on top.  
Fuck, how do you tie shoelaces? Wait, how could I fucking forget? No sneakers, I'm known for tripping on my own two feet anyway. Maybe I could throw theses since I have no window to jump out of. First line of defense... What's in the medicine cabinet? Hmm, I thought pondering about what type of damage could Advil, Nyquil, Tylenol, cough syrup, Pepto-Bismol, rubbing alcohol, a roll of gauze, thermometer, and sunscreen do other than to get someone high? Yeah I'm fucked.  
My head started to throb more once a voice said, "Try all the rooms, knock first."  
Just my fucking luck ten seconds later there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Anybody in there?"  
The locked doorknob started to jiggle. "Found her. Ms. Spelding we'd like to have a word with you."  
No matter how cliché it sounds, my heart is in my throat.  
That's what they call me. But what can I say, I like bad puns.

* * *

"Tony, Clint, and Natasha I think she's in here." Steve said, yawning.  
"I don't understand why Nick needed all of us to subdue one person." Clint said.  
"She has a name." Natasha said, twisting the gilded doorknob.  
"Is it legal." Tony said, smirking.  
"Very illegal." Natasha said, rolling her eyes. "Do I need to call Chris Hansen?"  
"How is a name legal and illegal?" Steve asked, twirling his shield. "Does Chris work with Nick?"  
"I'll show you him on HULU when we get home." Natasha sighed.  
"The hoop?"  
"Is she familiar with any of us on a personal level?" Clint asked.  
"She knows Bruce, but that was years ago. We don't know how'd she react to seeing him." Tony said. "I mean how do you think she'll react when she sees all of us in her hallway when she opens the door after taking a shower? I'd flip out."  
"She got Nick's call." Natasha said.  
"And what if she didn't?" Tony countered.  
"That's why we have tranquilizers." Clint added.  
"How do we open the door looking like we just came from ComicCon Convention saying, "Come with us," without looking like kinky rapists? Tony added.  
"Tony, only you would think like that." Steve said, shaking his head.  
"Steve, Tony does have a point." Natasha said.  
"Yeah." Clint muttered.  
"Who's going to do the introduction? I nominate Natasha." Tony said, grinning.  
"Natasha." Steve agreed.  
"Natasha." Clint said.  
"Why don't you do it Stark?" Natasha hissed.  
"Do we want her to faint looking at this beauty?" Tony said, waving his hand over his face. "Besides I bet she'd feel comfortable talking to an older female than male. I know I would."  
"I know you would." Natasha said in a mimicking voice. "Spelding we're coming in."  
"W-wait give me a minute to put my clothes on." A voice squeaked.  
"Sounds very illegal." Tony huffed.  
"Shut the fuck up and put your helmet back down." Natasha growled at Tony.

* * *

Braced against the door with my sneakers in hand, I feel ready. Just play the little scared girl and run.  
Opening the doorknob, I stick my head out a little bit in the crack of light.  
Let's see it's Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Captain America in my hallway. Where's Ironman and... The fuck is this? Marvel vs. Capcom? Is it too much for you guys, too much to ring the fucking doorbell?  
"Miss I suppose you received Fury's call?" Captain America asked, stretching his large biceps.  
"Fury?" I said, cocking my eyebrow.  
Game plan: throw sneakers (one for hawk and one for widow) and escape through the window in the my room.  
"A Mr. Nick Fury, we're the Avengers." The Captain added.  
"Umm, no call." I said, walking into the living room sporting Garfield while carrying my wet towel and wash cloth on my right arm. "Wow this is...um awkward. Do you have the right person?"  
"Jacqueline Spelding, thirty-three Avenue, apartment 214." Black Widow said, reading off a sheet of paper.  
"So um...could I put on some decent clothes and eat the rest of my dinner?" I asked, rubbing my drenched hair.  
"Well...um...it is short notice." Captain America said, shrugging his shoulders.  
These two look easy. Black Widow has guns and Hawkeye has arrows. If I just swing my shoes right I could knock them both out. Who am I kidding I'm no fucking ninja. Hm...  
I took the leftover sushi from the fridge and began to eat it. Helena left me nine out of twelve pieces, awesome!  
After I finished eating Black Widow asked, "You going to change, Tony?"  
"Nahh, I'm already dressed!" I said, stripping my Garfield footie pajamas.  
"Into costume. We're going to do gangnam style." Hawkeye  
"Please remind me again why we're doing this?" Black Widow, groaned.  
"Being in costume is the excuse." Hawkeye smirked.  
"You know it's very hard to play two characters." Helena said, appearing out of the blue, adjusting a black eye patch.

She can voice a good Tony Stark.

"Shit, forgot about that. Keep on roleplaying without me." I got to find my suit.

* * *

"Ay popi chulo." Esperanza purred, running a hand through her short brunet hair. "Perdí mi número. ¿Puedo tener el tuyo?"  
"Lets try to stick to the North of America, Captain." Helena said, smirking. "We're leaving. Y estamos tomando el autobús, Captain."  
"¡Dios mío!"  
"Let's blow this Popsicle stand so I can go kick your ass in Guitar Hero." I said, hooking my arm around Esperanza's waist.  
The movie Avengers has been out for awhile so we finally decided that tonight was the time to see it with the original summer camp crew of Camp Faywick. I'm going as Ironman. Helena was Nick Fury. Esperanza, the preppy Latina bombshell, was Captain America. Donna, the mousy Asian was Hawkeye and her British boyfriend, Derrick, was Black Widow. Quite the gender bender.

* * *

The bus ride to the theaters would take a good fifteen minutes. It was empty so we didn't have to worry about much.  
"I love you." Donna, whispered to Derrick.  
"No, I love you more." Derrick whispered back.  
"You guys sound like a fucking hallmark card." Esperanza mumbled into Helena's crotch.  
"Hallmark cards have that nowadays?" I said, wiggling my eyebrows.  
"Mmmhp." Esperanza grumbled, looking greener than ever.  
"Captain just go to sleep, you should be good at that." Helena said, stroking Esperanza's hair.  
"Can't." Esperanza muttered.  
"I think this calls for some entertainment." I said, pulling out my phone. "My ridiculousness comes in handy. Now lets see..." I said, scrolling through my music playlist. "I want a journey moment."  
"There's no moment for a journey." Helena smirked.  
"Come on these hips don't lie." I said.  
"Great something to go with your Napoleon-complex." Helena said, laughing with Esperanza.  
"Dynamite's freaking awesome, dude." I said, imitating Napoleon Dynamite.  
"Bonaparte."  
"Gosh!"  
I then proceeded to make a fool of myself for the sake of Ranza by purposely singing Rent's 'One Song Glory' off key.  
"That's glory?" Donna giggled, finally unlatching her mouth from Derrick's  
"I'm just getting started. You'd be amazed-"  
"By how much my ears are bleeding." Derrick snorted.  
"Nope by my mad skillz."  
"So much skill, you need a 'z' instead of a 's'?" Donna added.  
"Exactly, tell Pepper you guys put me up to it. I said, unplugging my headphones, Sissy Nobby's 'Gitty Up' blaring from it's speakers as I tossed it to Helena.  
The next thing I know I'm stealing Donna from Derrick and we're dancing for the rest of the bus ride.

"Nice gyrating, Stark." Esperanza said, spinning her shield. No more green.  
"The term is twerking, Capsicle." I said, sticking my tongue out. "Glad you didn't Hulk out, that would of been very out of character."  
Hmmmm. Helena cleared her throat. "Alright, team you have been debriefed about our mission. Tickets were already purchased so we will proceed to the arcade, where in fact I will kick all your asses in Dance Dance Revolution, and proceed to the movie afterwards." Helena announced, as we entered the theater parking lot. "Most importantly stay in character."

* * *

After I kicked major ass Guitar Hero on the hard level, I turned to see a little crowd forming around the Dance Dance Revolution Game. A rave-esque version of Cascada's 'Everytime We Touch' ( how the fuck they did that I don't know) pounded from the ancient machine. Helena had a perfect streak of forty-five when I glanced over. Esperanza on the other hand was failing, but that's probably what the real Captain America would do.  
Jumping off the accursed machine in defeat, Esperanza grabbed my shoulder and Helena grabbed hers.  
I looked around, Derrick and Donna were no where in sight.  
"They're already there." Helena said, leading the way to movie flick.  
My cell phone began to vibrate.  
"I have a feeling you'll be hearing," Mr. Anderson" when you pick that up." Helena added, rubbing her eyes.  
I looked at my phone and it was an unknown call. Ignore.  
"Better work on my slowmo." I cracked, looking around.  
"Shit!" Helena whispered, licking her lips. "We're going to need a pay phone."  
I nonchalantly turned my head to see what Helena was talking about. Black suits, extra-crispy-for-no-reason type of suits. A blonde, a brunet, a-  
"Confession stands!" Esperanza exclaimed.  
"I want nachos with jalapeño peppers." I groaned.  
"Cracker Jacks." Esperanza said, slightly bouncing up and down.  
"Fine, five minutes." Helena said, rolling her eyes.  
I don't know how but I ended up carrying a box of nachos, a box of Cracker Jacks, and a medium popcorn. Esperanza was stumbling with me, carrying three cherry blue slushies.

* * *

(Third. P.O.V.)  
Two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents nervously glanced down at their overdressed attire.

"I think we over did it." The blond said.

"We're totally ready to see Skyfall." The brunet said, bouncing up and down in the chair.  
"Eh- it doesn't-"

"Well look at what we have here, devoted fans of the Avengers. They're adorable!"  
"Nope, recruitments."  
"The whole party?"  
"Just those three."  
"They're so cute!"  
"Not for long, one's a walking virus, one's with the force, and one's just a doozy."  
"They're fans of the movie, they'll probably come quietly."  
"When has anyone ever came quietly?"  
"You have the tranquilizers?"  
"Yeah, I don't see why Fury forced us to go if he was sending his more important crew."

* * *

"Who the fuck pays full price to black out during the movie?" I grumbled, rubbing my eyes, the taste of cotton coating my tongue and throat. I stretched my back, finally realizing I was perched on a table next to a groggy Esperanza.  
"Fuck this one is heavy." Who said that?  
And where's Helena and why's my head fucking pounding?  
Whoa, this isn't the movie theater.  
My eyes and ears adjusted to the bright, buzzing ceiling lights. Cold hard plastic greeted my fingers as I stared at the white wall in front of me. Four white walls in be in fact.  
"Espera, you okay?"  
"¿Se puede decir que en Inglés?"  
I'm glad I took Spanish instead of French.  
"Habla en Inglés."  
"Yo soy!"  
"How did we get here?"  
"No, usted no es."  
"¿Qué coño quieres decir? Hablo Inglés, antes se fueron murmurando algo en alemán."  
"Whoa, I have no Rosetta Stone." I said, throwing my hands up.  
What the fuck did you do"-WHAMP!-"knock the fucking English out of them?" Who is that? What is fucking going on?  
"Can you guys hear me?" Helena's voice echoed, bouncing around in my eardrums. "When you wake up for real, run."  
And that's when I did, well the waking up part anyway. I couldn't run because, someone was carrying me.  
I can't see anything.

I am not ending up on the fucking ID channel!  
Amber will be alerted! I repeat Amber will be motherfucking alerted.


	2. Chapter 2

At 11: 58 in Nick Fury's office sat Tony Stark, Steve Rodgers, and Nick Fury, himself.

"What's the hubba about these three kids, Thor and some Agents are picking up?" Tony Stark said, scratching at the stubble on his chin. "I could be watching TV. right now."  
"Yeah, Nick never specified what they're getting into." Steve Rodgers said, scratching his back.  
"Agent Hill will explain." Nick Fury said, turning in his rotating chair to face Agent Maria Hill.  
"I guess I'mhere to debrief you guys." Agent Hill said, handing out a stack of grey folders. "Jacqueline Spelding, Esperanza Velazquez, and Helene Greyson, three failed medical mistakes. They never showed any signs of generic enrichment from the mutation and experiments for awhile. Spelding was introduced to a contaminated strain in the superhuman serum when she was five in Hamburg, Germany. It cured her polio, but she just gets really sick often. Practically was bedridden for half of her stay, the other half was spent singing and dancing as if nothing were wrong. She had a mind-boggling IQ of 138 but that serum made it drop severely. Her IQ was average the last time we checked. Velazquez, a Honduran native firecracker, she's the pyro and aquatic of the group. Always the first one in and last one out of the pool. Blue gamma rays mutated Helene, well were suppose to. When mad she doesn't into a blue Hulk, she just becomes childlike, that's what the file said, but personally I've never saw her mad.  
Together they formed a cute little band, Spelding on the piano, Velazquez on the drums, preferably snare, and Helene on the saxophone. Velazquez was so cute, marching around the office meeting playing the Star Spangle Banner with Helene in tow."  
"You're going off in a tangent." Nick grumbled.  
"A necessary tangent, the purpose of that story was to show that they were innocent little kids. But then on August 5, 2006 they disappeared just like that." Agent Hill said, snapping her fingers. "With no trace."  
"And there they are-"  
"-allegedly."

A giant flat screen descended from the ceiling.  
"Grab your popcorn boys, they're talented."  
The screen flickered to life, the date August 5, 2004 stamped in the lower right hand corner.  
With a back to the camera, a petite girl with a long blonde ponytail and dressed in a black T-shirt and grey sweatpants, was playing Scott Joplin's The Entertainer on a grand baby piano. Her hands moved gracefully the keys, but she stopped abruptly. After shaking her hands out she tried to resume but couldn't.  
"How could I forget?" The little girl hissed, laying her face on the piano keys. "I practically live and breathe sheet music."  
"No wonder you're always smelling like ink and freshly printed paper." A voice, mumbled off screen. In walked in a lanky brown-haired female with two braided pigtails, wearing a black jumpsuit. Wielding two drumsticks in her hand, she began to tap them on the piano bench the blonde was sitting on. "Bones, music comes and goes relax."  
"I can't let it go Ranza. I played that song about over a hundred times. It's practically tattooed inside the folds of my brain."  
"And the brace I wear to play my drum has literally let a tattoo on my shoulders, but I can't find it." Ranza responded. "Lene is a wiz a numbers and mechanics, but she unknowingly blasted me and cracked my jaw."  
"Yeah."  
"And remember the time I forgot to take my inhaler and somehow Lene made you catch on fire?"  
"And do you remember that that was just all today?"  
"How could I not you still smell like roasted human flesh."  
"Thank you, I feel so much better.  
"I'm glad you feel better."  
"And I'm glad your glad."  
"Nick's looking you, a few more tests need to be ran for today."  
"Be there with bells and whistles?"  
"Lene's looking too."  
"I feel so loved." Bones said, sitting up and turning, her bright blue eyes flashed with a smile.  
"Hey, I think they found something to make it grow again."  
"I honestly think there's no going back to its natural state." Bones said, pulling off her blond hair, a wig. "Skin's really irritating. I think I'll need those bandages soon."  
"Bonita, let's go." Ranza said, taking Bones hand. "I'm getting a haircut. Voy a necesitar a alguien para sostener mi mano."

The screen flickered.  
"What an innocent bunch of- Steve started.  
"Get the fuck off the ceiling!" The black screen shouted coming to life. The voice belonged to a middle eastern girl with piercing brown eyes and flowing brown hair. "I'll fucking blast you."  
"Bones get down from there." Ranza screamed, stomping her foot.  
They were both sporting matching gray and red skintight sweat suits.  
"Get that Resident Evil motherfucker off the ceiling this instant, Prototype."  
"What did you fucking call me?" The Ranza said, stepping up into the other brunet's face, towering over her.  
"You fucking heard me Mega."  
"Hey, you guys the last thing we need is for Brainiac here to go Super Saiyan," a black fiery redhead girl hissed, pointing at the shorter brunet, "we already have Sheeva up there causing a ruckus!" The redhead continued, pointing up at the ceiling. The camera didn't follow her pointer finger's direction. "You guys are bloody ridiculous, did Jack take her meds?"  
"Gahhh!" The shorter brunet groaned, slipping onto the floor clutching her head. "Eden... Ranza...get out of here!"  
"Shit Helene, not you too, fuck Ranza suit up immediately!"  
"D-D-Does n-n-not c-o-ompute." Ranza stuttered, whacking herself along the head. "E-e,-rror."  
"Sheeva don't you fucking—"  
The screen turned black.  
"As you can see we were working with extreme cases that got loose." Agent Hill stated.  
"Children should not be subjected to this." Steve fumed, tapping his hand on the table.  
"Spangles let Fury get to the good part." Tony said, rolling his eyes.  
"I wouldn't perceive this as good Stark because this a double edged sword. Spelding is a relative of the Red Skull, Greyson is one to Dr. Yinsen, and Velazquez is-"  
An Unknown Agent dipping in sweat burst through the doors.  
"Sir, Agent Skyler is sending us a live video feed coming from her communicator."

"Patch it on the screen." Nick said, pointing to the TV.

And then it was.  
"Oh my fucking God Thor!" Agent Skyler shrieked. "How did you fucking do that!"  
"Do what?" Thor said, innocently looking down.  
Thor was clutching the body of someone in a ironman costume. And there was no head attached.  
"You fucking decapitated her! Shit she's seizing, put her down and break off the armor."  
"Ragrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrr!" Something shirked.

The video screen went black.  
"Stark can you fix-"Fury started.  
"Jack, I'm your friend don't you remember me?" Agent Skyler cooed.  
Then there was a scuffle.  
Something hissed in response.  
Live rounds were discharged.  
"Oh my fucking God, Thor hit it with your hammer."  
"Get Dr. Banner on standby." Nick barked into the intercom system on his desk. Turning to Tony and Steve, "Suit up."


End file.
